The Awkward In Between
by shasa
Summary: She, Andromeda mused, was the awkward in between. She was the tendrils of smoke where fire and ice meet, the unclear boundary between shadow and light.
1. Awkward In Between

Hi! It's my first time writing Harry Potter, so please be gentle! :D

I want to let you guys know, I'm not really happy with this, but I've rewritten it a couple times and can't seem to fix what's bothering me (which could be due to the fact that I don't really know what's bothering me here). So any criticism will be really helpful! Please review with your thoughts!

Enjoy~

All credit goes to J.K. Rowling! :)

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><p>She, Andromeda mused, was the awkward in between. She was the tendrils of smoke where fire and ice meet, the unclear boundary between shadow and light.<p>

Bellatrix, her older sister, flourished in the shadows of power. Violent and temperamental, Andromeda privately wondered if Bellatrix was clinically insane. However one thing kept crazy Bella grounded, and that was her love for her _darling_ sister, baby Cissy.

Narcissa, Andromeda's younger sister, was the baby of the family, but only by title. She reminded Andromeda of a white tigress she had once seen when the family was vacationing in India. Cissy's innocent Cambridge blue eyes, and her delicate limbs belied the graceful power and cunning she possessed.

While her two sisters grew closer together, Andromeda couldn't help but feel left out. Three was supposed to be a special number, but this perfect duo left no space for her.

Andromeda could go on about the differences between Bellatrix and Narcissa for ages. Bellatrix's hair was long and thick and black, and it shone like polished obsidian. Narcissa's was almost as long, but thinner and it shone blonde enough to make a veela envious. Bellatrix's eyes were heavy-lidded and dark, her lips were full, her skin was tan. Narcissa's eyes were dagger-like shards of ice in her pale porcelain face, her lips small and rosebud pink. Together, the two brought droves of boys to them like flies drawn to honey.

Andromeda's skin was tan, but not as tan as Bellatrix's. Her hair was a lighter shade of brown, as were her eyes, and her body was average at best. She was not as quiet as Narcissa, nor as loud as Bellatrix, and she felt that in comparison to them she was a pale imitation of something she could never be.

Bella and Cissy exemplified perfect purebloods, worthy of the name of the noble and most ancient family of Black. Toujours pur.

Caught between Narcissa's silky, poisonous words, and Bellatrix's slightly less diplomatic violence, Andromeda was insignificant and who was she, really? In the eyes of her family and housemates she was someone who could never measure up to her sister's. She was going to crack one day. She felt it ticking; a bomb in her heart, counting down to the day that she was going to explode. But what was going to happen? As she lay in her green-draped bed, trying to keep track of the movements of the stars, (it helped with her insomnia), she wondered what the future held in store for her.

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><p>"Our siblings. They resemble us just enough to make all their differences confusing, and no matter what we choose to make of this, we are cast in relation to them our whole lives long." - Susan Scarf Merrell<p>

A/N: Yes I know it was super short. But there is more to come! :)


	2. Boys Will Be Boys, And Eventually Men

**Hi again! So 2 reviews for the last chapter, not bad, seeing as the rest of the fics with Andromeda have about 0 reviews. C'mon guys, and I thought Harry Potter was one of those HUGE communities where every fic gets like 300 reviews! LOL**

**Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling is the genius here, guys. :P**

**Everyone who isn't Germprince can just go straight to the story now. :) **

**Germprince: You have disabled PMing and it is really annoying me. :P thank you for the beautiful review which brought tears to my eyes. :') Who do you think you are showing me up at writing in your review! So...I hope you don't mind that I took your suggestion, haha. Also: I edited a couple things in the first chapter to make my pronouns more clear, thank you for that! Since the Black family was described as being so dark and evil, I think it would make sense for bullying to be something to be proud of. It's not actually the bullying though, more like the strength. So look at it through the eyes of Mr. and Mrs. Black: Bellatrix = bullying = strength = WINNER. Better? :) **

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><p>Puberty hit not-so-little Cissy in her third year. Narcissa, with her pale delicate looks, fared much differently than Bellatrix. Her breasts were modest at best, and she retained the willowy looks that she had had in childhood. Though, the slight roundness of her hips and chest made her waist seem even more slender than it had before. This increase in slimness only made all the boys in Slytherin, and admittedly other houses as well, hoot and holler more than ever as she passed them in the halls.<p>

Bellatrix was in her seventh year at Hogwarts, and had already acquired curves to make a full-grown woman jealous. Her hips were round, and with a well-endowed bosom and derriere, she made all the boys in her class drool. But there were two boys who were perfect for Andromeda's beautiful sisters, their equals in wit and beauty. And those two boys were Lucius Malfoy and Rodolphus Lestrange.

Lucius was in Andromeda's year, and boasted enough of his pure-blood heritage that Andromeda knew her parents would be simply delighted by him. His pale pointed looks and silky-looking white blond hair were so reminiscent of Narcissa's that they could be cousins. The only main difference being that while her eyes were an icy blue, his a stormy gray.

He was much taller than dainty little Cissy, and leanly muscled like a panther. They were so similar that after they started dating both of them were often teased for being narcissistic, an extra pun being that Cissy's name stemmed from the word. Andromeda thought he was perfect for Narcissa. They were both highly intelligent, witty, and cunning and they complemented each other perfectly. Anyone could tell they adored each other, and Andromeda was glad that Narcissa had found someone she could love and who loved her.

Rodolphus was a year older than Bellatrix, three years older than Andromeda, and six years older than little Narcissa. He was sturdily built, even during his years at Hogwarts, and he was nice enough. He laughed easily at almost anything, and his little brother, Rabastan, was best friends with Lucius. However, Andromeda knew that none of these desirable qualities were what drew Bellatrix to him. There were two characteristics in particular that she found the most attractive in Rodolphus Lestrange.

The first: his pure-blooded status. Bellatrix was a staunch upholder of the traditions of the house of Black, and with toujours pur being it's motto, a pureblood was the only way to go. The second: Rodolphus practically oozed power. Though his wandwork was not as good as Bellatrix or Lucius', his bulging muscles more than made up for it in Bellatrix's eyes. She loved to be in the company of power, and it excited her that his bicep was thicker than her neck.

Andromeda's gift from puberty was much less extravagant. Her waist was a little too wide for her tastes, her legs rather short, and her chest on the small side, but at least her face didn't resemble a pug's like that Parkinson girl's. Only one boy had shown a vested interest in her, and _he _was a Muggle-born. And a Hufflepuff at that! However Andromeda would rather it be a Hufflepuff than a Gryffindor (she couldn't quite repress a shudder at the thought)

Andromeda was happy for her sisters. She just wished that she could find her perfect match too, perfect enough that her parent's would smile upon the marriage, and her sister's would talk about what good judgement she had, since she had little other noteworthy traits. Yes, Andromeda dreamed about the day when her family finally acknowledged that she existed in a positive light, and was proud of her.

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><p>"<strong>Jealousy is nothing more than a fear of abandonment." - Arab proverb <strong>

**A/N: And whooo booiii is Andromeda jealous of her sisters/afraid of being abandoned. Even if she doesn't say it outright. :) So I got their respective ages and stuff from Harry Potter wiki, so I'm not sure how reliable that is, but I guess since I'm the author you're gonna have to go wtih it. Mwahahah. I got the idea of Bellatrix being attracted to power from this other awesome LuciusxNarcissa fic that I read. I just...can't really remember the name of it.. Early Days? Or something like that. ANYWAYS - Thanks for reading!**

**Dumbledore would review. You should too.**


	3. Happiness and Despair

**Hi. Wow. I have not been on here in foreveerrrr. It's ridiculous. I barely remember how to use FF and now I feel all self-concious even though this is the internet. Wow. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter :( **

**This is the final chapter, do enjoy!~**

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><p>Andromeda had been fighting with her sisters more often than usual in the past year. Her mother, although displeased, insisted that it was a phase, but Andromeda was frightened that maybe this would never be resolved. A little voice in her head whispered maybe, just maybe, she wasn't meant to belong here and this was the world's way of showing it. But she crushed it and smothered it and refused to listen to her deepest fear being told to her. Somewhere in the recesses of her mind there was a murmur, a suggestion, that she wasn't meant to be.<p>

Ted Tonks, the Hufflepuff that courted her in her sixth year was still asking her out after numerous rejections However harsh her words and rejection were, it all seemed to bounce off of him, and he would respond with a wave and a grin as if it had never happened. She had almost, dare she say it, grown somewhat fond of him, and though she rejected him would spend continued hours in his presence. Of course, if her sisters or parents ever found out she could kiss her Black family tree position good-bye. Dear Aunt Walburga was quite fond of blasting people off of the moth-eaten old tapestry. Privately, Andromeda thought she was quite insane. It was a wonder that Sirius hadn't run away from home yet.

With Rodolphus and Bellatrix happily married, and her parents pushing her to marry soon as well, her hours at home were growing more harried. But when Ted Tonks got on one knee in the snow, it was only her rigid Black upbringing that kept her from gaping unattractively like a fish.

"Andromeda Black," and it was the first time she had ever seen him so solemn. His earnest brown eyes stared at her steadily, and his mouth didn't even have a hint of a smile. "Will you marry me?" She had no idea how to respond. Did he even know marriage protocol? Had he even talked to her parents first? Of course he couldn't have. She berated herself for her stupidity. Her mother would have jinxed him on the spot. She could see the resolve in his eyes wavering as her silence dragged on into the cold winter air, her breath coming in puffs of condensation. Out of impulse, with no reasoning or rationale whatsoever, Andromeda gave a quick jerk of her head, her long brown hair bouncing slightly on her back.

She felt slightly sickened by the wide grin that spread across Ted's face. After all, it wasn't as if she nodded because she loved him. Was it? She was a pathetic excuse for a human being, or was it her subconcious deciding to surface? Trying to probe her inner thoughts only brought woeful confusion, and she drifted along haplessly in the wake of Ted's happiness.

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><p>She faced the double doors of the Black mansion, suddenly a stranger in front of her own house. Or had it happened slowly, gnawing at her heart? The ornate serpentine designs seemed to evoke a sentiment in her, Andromeda was well aware that she may never see the inside of this house again. She pushed the doors open and took a deep breath, steeling herself. Her mother was sitting in a high-backed wooden chair, rigid and stern even when relaxed, peering at some thick, dusty tome. Druella Black née Rosier looked up as soon as her middle daughter entered and immediately knew something was wrong.<p>

She stood up with all the regality of an empress, her hair pulled back in a charcoal and iron streaked bun, making her features stand out.

"Andromeda?" It was less of a question and more of an order to explain herself.

"Mother..."

Her two sister's walked into the drawing room, 19 year old Narcissa smiling as a 23 year old Bellatrix laughed raucously. However the laughter and smile died as they saw the look on their sister's face. Bellatrix's eyes narrowed suspiciously as she studied her plainer sibling's worried features. Narcissa's porcelain face was kept carefully blank, but there was a shrewdness in her icy eyes that made Andromeda think she knew.

"Explain yourself!" The order was revealed for what it was with a harsh cry from Druella Black.

"Mother I... was proposed to...by Ted Tonks. And I accepted," her whispered words were greeted with silence. They seeped into the room like poison, absorbed by the expensive and ancient furniture, down the hall and up the stairs, until it seemed like the whole house was waiting with bated breath for the reaction of her family. Bellatrix's mouth was set in a snarl, her face alight with fury. Narcissa was as calm and stonily still as a statue. Their mother's features twisted scarily and in one sweeping motion she moved forward and grasped her daughter's upper arm in a bruising grip. Andromeda gasped in pain as her mother shook her violently.

"You wicked, wicked child! You will go to that _filthy Mudblood_ **this instant** and tell him that you were deranged! How could you ruin our purity?" Every syllable shook with cold rage. Andromeda would have much rather braved the hot fury of her sister than this icy ire. She cast a quick glance at Bellatrix's animalistic expression. Maybe not.

"Mother, please try to understand," she bleated vainly. She knew it wouldn't work. The only reason that she was even here was to pay her respects because she knew that she would never be welcomed back. She might as well be dead for all the notice she was going to get after this; even the dead were paid more attention.

"Andromeda." Said a deep voice suddenly and a tear slid down her cheek.

"Father." Cygnus Black had walked into the room and his mere presence had immediately commanded calm.

"Druella what is going on?" The three sisters were silent as he addressed their mother. As Andromeda looked at him a choked sob escaped her lips. Looking into her father's face she could pick out features shared by each of her sisters, and herself. Bellatrix had his dark eyes, heavy-lidded and expressive. Narcissa looked more like their mother, but something in his small narrow nose spoke of the blond. And Andromeda, Andromeda could see herself in his heavily-set jaw, somewhat stubborn and peculiar. She saw also a pensiveness that might also be echoed in her own personality.

"I said yes to the Muggle-born," she whispered strickenly. Her mother's steely gray eyebrows rose higher and her thin lips, so like Narcissa's, were pressed together even more.

"I see." Said her father. "And this is your final decision?" Cygnus looked, if anything, weary. Andromeda inclined her head in affirmation, another tear sliding down her freckled cheek.

"Then you are no longer welcome here, Andromeda." And so she left, for there was nothing more for her here.

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><p>Almost ten years had passed, and Andromeda still relived that distant past from time to time. She remembered the times when her surname brought respect, reverence, and even fear into those lesser than her. Sometimes she would lay beside Ted, and look into his kind face and feel revulsion. They had a little girl now, a beautiful girl in whom she could still see Narcissa's fine bones and Bellatrix's full lips.<p>

And it killed her inside. But she had learned to accept this life, which she had attained out of impulse, and, she secretly suspected, a need to be different. To stand out amongst the outstanding, maybe even for attention. But she was happy, she decided, fingering her mahogany locks. She had her own family to worry about and take care of. The past was but a distant dream. The future was where the uncertainty lay.

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><p><strong>"In each family a story is playing itself out, and each family's story embodies its hope and despair." - Auguste Napier<strong>

**A/N: So... you like? Do be a dear and review and tell me! (:**


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